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Here are some of the things I dislike the most, please guys, if you recognize yourself, just get away from me :)

*** Men who call each other girl.

*** "Sex" "Girls" "Boys" listed as hobbies.

*** Belly button rings - You want so bad to be Britany don't you ?

*** Wimpy handshakes. Even worse, a guy that leans over to kiss me on the cheek when I extend my hand.

*** Pierced nipples.

*** Guys who are into phone sex. It's okay at first, but damn it hurts when it comes time to remove it :D

*** When I see "Strasbourg" or "Mulhouse" listed as location. I'm not saying there are no masculine guys in these towns, but I haven't met one yet. What's up with that anyway ?

*** Hypergroomers - i.e: Body shaving and excessive clipping - Hint : You cannot "sculpt" a goodie trail with a razor....your body-hair is NOT a topiary!

*** Attitude - Who said you have to act like a jerk just because you have muscles ?

*** Arched eyebrows (What the f*ck ??? And you want to look like Divine because...?)

*** Guys who think working out and wearing work-boots makes them masculine.

*** Pierced penises - And you did this on purpose ?! I hear that setting the head on fire increases sensitivity too....try it and get back with me.

*** Guys who look like Tarzan but speak like Jane (I'd rather do Cheetah, at least he doesn't wax)

*** Clear fingernail polish - (...which they think no one can see)

*** Men with "diva", "princess" or "bitch" bumper stickers.

*** K-9 in your profile - God please tell me you're a dog trainer! If you're "doing it" with your dog you need serious help.

*** Metal Jewelry (other than a watch)

*** Thongs - "A course itchy piece of fabric between my butt-cheeks feeling as if it's trying to enter my body...ah yes".

*** Jellyfish - (Passive guys)

*** "Hot" in screen names - Thanks for telling me this in advance so I don't have to do all that deciding for myself.

*** Short fuses - I have zero tolerance for being yelled at and if you're the type of person who thinks you can resolve a problem by hitting me, you're gonna be counting the ceiling tiles in the emergency room real quick like :D

*** Guys who sit and stare at me whilst I'm talking... and then say something like "you're beautiful" i.e. you didn't understand what I just said but you want me to shag you anyway. GO HOME.

*** Boys - No matter how you spell it, I'm still not attracted to children.

*** Guys who "adapt" to what you're looking for.

*** Escorts - ...and this is different from a prostitute how ?

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June 30th, 2005.

As I sat down at the keyboard this morning, I sat for minutes thinking of something that was worth talking about in these troubling times.

With all that's going on in the world today, I thought about what really is the most important thing we could focus on during the times today.

I thought about the men and women in the world who are fighting for what they feel is right. I thought about the mothers and fathers of these soldiers, about what they must be feeling, not knowing if their loved ones are okay.

Not a single thing I was feeling this morning had to do with me. It had to do with what I think we need a lot more of in this time of hardship.

Love.
Love of who you are and love of who you are with.
Love of what you do and love of what you want to do.
Love of family and friends and love of the things you hold special in your life.

During the course of your busy day, stop and take a moment to think about what and who you love in your life.

Do you take the time to think about what brings you joy?

Do you take the time to tell those people that mean something to you what you really think of them?

As corny as it may sound, I can assure you that what we need a lot more of in life is love.

So love what you do. Love who you are. Love who you are with and who you want to be with. Love the fact you can be anything you want to be. Love the fact you can work where you want and do what you want.

With all that's going on right now, that is one constant that you can hold near and dear to you.

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3rd July, 2005

I don't know about you, but people who think they are funny when clearly they are not, really bug me.

Ok, so someone tells a joke that didn't go so well, understandable, it happens to the best of us.

Someone makes a comment and they accidentally hurt someone's feelings instead of making them laugh, apologise, forgive, better luck next time.

I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about flaming.
The act of insulting people for self/group satisfaction. I find this to be a very amusing past time, and over the course of my life I have created/been the victim of many weird wonderful and hilarious flames. I don't mind if someone takes the piss out of me, hell I take the piss out of myself : As long as it's funny.

FOR EXAMPLE :
Let's say I'm arguing with some guy, I call him something clever and creative that both insults and amuses, then he replies with something like "I left your mum 5 cents for last night on the table". Ok that was really bad, maybe he just couldn't think of something, a noob flamer...

Oh well I'll give him another chance. But wait, the guy is all smug, he thinks it's funny. I reply with another zinger, and I am confronted with "you are an idiot". OK so making fun of someone's intelligence can be funny, but not like that.

I would like to take a moment to point out that your mama jokes are not funny.

They never were funny and will never be funny. If anyone ever tells me a "your mama" joke as an attempt at a serious insult, I'm going to punch them in the eye. People like that don't deserve a pretty face no more.

Flaming, as I see it's a thing of beauty, an art form if you will, if you can offend someone and make them/others laugh you scored, mixed emotions is great as they have trouble forming comebacks and can stall for extended periods giving you more time to create an attack/defense.

But there are some cunts out there who give flaming a bad name, with their recycled material they stole from others or just not funny bullshit.

IF YOU ARE NOT FUNNY - JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP :D

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21th September, 2005

I kinda see the world as a human body.

Asia is the CHEST. Things keep spouting out of it, and with time it will get bigger and bigger.

Africa is the aforementioned ASS, with the aforementioned shit.

South America are the FEET. Not much attention is payed towards them, which causes them to remain in decay, and crusted over with korns and toe fungus.

Canada and Europe is the HEAD. They lead the way in most instances, and have a lot of power, but despite that, they can't control the...

HANDS, which are the US, and are too busy messing with every other part of the body. Scratching the ass, shaving the chest, picking at the toes, and jerking off the...

Middle east, which can be seen as the PENIS. Whenever there is too much stress in the world, just play with the middle east a little bit, until...POOF!

And AUSTRALIA...Who the fuck cares about Australia...They can be the...APPENDIX :(